Abandoned by Superman

You know what’s worse than being rejected by the world? By your trusted friends? It’s when your own family denied what you are going through.

Today, I took a leap of faith. Finally, I opened up to my parents, my personal heroes, about my mental health problems. How I’ve been having frequent anxiety attacks these past few years. Funnily, my dad, my personal superman, got angry. He did not understand. Apparently, I have no right to have anxiety attacks because they provide everything I need. I wish it was that simple. I wish I could magically reprogram myself.

I never felt this kind of loneliness before. I always feel rejected. I always feel I’m too much for my close friends. That’s why as much as possible, I don’t want to share any of my negative thoughts to them ever again. But today, even my superman invalidated my thoughts. I don’t need encouraging words. I just want them to genuinely listen to me and understand what I’m going through; why I sometimes act strangely.

I don’t know. I wish people would be more familiarized with mental health.

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