Daily Struggles

People tell me to be happy and everything will be fine, but that’s not the case. Though everything is fine, I still feel sad. I don’t know. Most of the time, I just lie in my bed thinking of nothing and everything.I passed all my subjects. My grades are good last semester, I should be happy right? But why am I not happy?

I traveled in three countries last month, yet I am still sad.

I read inspirational stuff, yet I am not inspired.

I watched sitcoms, yet after finishing the episode, it did not cheer me up.

I planned catching up with my friends, yet I ditch them most of the time.

I want myself to be accompanied by other people, but I always tend to put walls around me and sit miserably in the darkness. I always want to be alone.

They keep on telling me that I’m overreacting. They do not understand. If I have a choice, I’d rather not to feel this way. I want to be happy, but I don’t know how.

Tomorrow, I will wake up again, brush my teeth, act happy, but deep inside, I am screaming. I hate this routine. Am I capable to be happy?

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